Become a Super Skilled Parent
The Difference Between Regular Parents and Super-skilled Parents:
Regular parents try to “make” their children happy, and kids end up resisting since human nature is to want to make our own choices.
Super-skilled parents know that they can’t “make” anyone happy, and just focus on “being” happy parents. Their kids pick up the happiness vibes, and are happy kids.
Regular parents think their kids should always listen. Super-skilled parents are very comfortable knowing that sometimes kids will make some poor choices.
Regular parents think that every mistake needs a consequence.
Super-skilled parents know when to look away and when to give a consequence.
Regular parents speak in an annoyed tone when they need to give a consequence, because the misbehavior was annoying to the parents.
Super-skilled parents give consequences in a loving way because it’s good for the kids.
Parenting is all about working on our own inner growth. Every person came to this world as a selfish being, and each parenting challenge is an opportunity to either get stuck in our own will, or to ask a Higher Power what His Will is for us in this moment of discomfort.
Studying expert parenting can help us come closer to His will.
How Do We Know What Really Works?
Think of someone who parents their kids with the skills just mentioned. You will notice a calmness about them, as well as a happy and giving demeanor. Experts use specific strategies to produce quality children. An expert parent can either be someone who grew up in an emotionally healthy environment and therefore has the necessary techniques to be in a close relationship with their kids, or someone who learned a lot about parenting. The great news is that you can emulate either type of expert in order to achieve identical results.
Example: When Experts Use “Time-out,” They Are Supportive and Assertive
Though “time-out” has its appropriate place in behavior modification, I have all too often seen parents and teachers use it aggressively or just plain ineffectively. Interestingly, parents almost always tell me that they are not interested in learning “time-out” as a behavioral strategy because they have tried it many times, and know that it doesn’t work. I respond to them by telling them that they are right because over 99% of the time, I have seen “time-out” used totally ineffectively. I then teach them a few points that they have to know about “time-out” and tell them that if they are mindful of these specific points, “time-out” will serve its purpose as a deterrent. When they learn the effective way to administer a “time-out”, they later report great success in extinguishing behaviors that were once destructive to the child and the family.
Can You Achieve This Level of Expertise?
Yes. Being an expert parent or educator is within anyone’s reach. I have seen the most (seemingly) limited parents learn new strategies and change the entire dynamic in their home. If you learn the techniques and apply them immediately, you can see the same exact results.
Get the Best Recipe if You Want the Best Results
Imagine that you are participating in a bake-off contest with the possibility of winning $10,000 if your cake comes in first place. If you really need to find the best recipe would you ask someone who did not have much experience baking? Would you ask someone whose cake always flopped? I hope not. You would find someone who bakes excellent cakes and ask them for their recipes. Parenting is a skill that is far more important in its everlasting effects. There are many experts in the field and if you see a parent achieving the results you like, get the “recipe.”